Tips How to Manage Personality Differences Between Siblings

As a mother of 3, it's very challenging for me to manage their personality differences. Like you, I only want the best for my children, But since every child's behavior maybe different from one another, we sometimes can't avoid comparing. Personality differences between siblings maybe partly due to their relative positions in the family.

Here are some tips from Dr. Richard C. Woolfson how you can handle personality types of your children.

Psychological research has shown that children's birth order has an effect on their behavior. There is a 'typical' personality associated with a first-born child, which is different from 'typical' personality associated with a second-born child, and so on.

A first-born child is usually serious-minded, high achieving and more anxious.

What you can do:

- Let him/her develop his/her own interests and skills.

- Do not pressurize him/her to achieve at school in order to fulfill your own dreams and aspirations.

- Encourage a broad range of activities, not just those connected with formal schooling.

- Let him/her know that everybody makes mistakes sometimes and has occasional failures.

A second-born child (Subsequent children) tends to be unconventional, creative rather than logical, and have an inclination towards risk-taking.

What you can do:

- Avoid using your first-born child's achievements as a goal for your next child -- this could actually de-motivate him/her. He/She wants to grow as an individual in his/her own right rather than follow in the footsteps of an older sibling.

- Encourage the creative side of his/her personality.

- Stick to your family rules despite his objections.

Youngest children are often resourceful and self-confident, ready to make decisions on their own.

What you can do:

-Remember that your youngest child has as many aspirations and feelings as your older children

-He/She gets fed up having to wait his turn to have his/her say, so let him/her be first in the queue sometimes.

-Treat him/her seriously and listen to what he/she has to say.

-Make sure your other children do not dismiss his idea simply because he/she is the youngest.

5 TOP TIPS

1. Treat each of your children as a unique individual.

Whatever his birth order within the family, your child needs to know that he is special to you and just as important as his siblings.

2. Recognize and develop talents.

You may have particular aspirations for your child but he has hopes too. Allow him to develop his own aims, rather than forcing him into a role.

3. Distribute resources fairly.

There is no reason why your first-born should always be the one who chooses on behalf of all your children. The others can have their turn at being first to choose, too.

4. Do your best to avoid comparisons.

Your children can love each other without having to be like each other. Comparisons between siblings are usually divisive with negative results.

5. Be aware of birth-orders effects.

Now that you know there are specific psychological pressures associated with birth order, take steps to ensure that these pressures are managed effectively.